He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
