i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
