What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
