We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
