i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize