Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
