Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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