Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
