He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it's like iHOP with fire
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
