it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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