Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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