I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
as a side note pls kill me
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
