so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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