Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize