I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
