Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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