Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
