plz talk dirty to me
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
