My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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