I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
