sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
