I just made out with a guy for $7.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
