i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize