maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize