I just threw up on my dentist
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
