Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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