Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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