I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
