the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
