And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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