i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
