Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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