marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Can I color on your dick again?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
