I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize