I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I am midnight drunk by noon
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
