Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My hand turned me down
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
