I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
