Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
