I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
