i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Me too!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
