Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize