I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
