I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
