Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
