bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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