I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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