no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
