I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
