Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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