i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
