he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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