plz talk dirty to me
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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