I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
