yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Randomize
