I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
