All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
