i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
