im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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