i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize