3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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