Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize