I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
