I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize