Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
